by Jay Herring (Author, Narrator)
The Truth About Cruise Ships: A Cruise Ship Officer Survives the Work, Adventure, Alcohol, and Sex of Ship Life
It’s easy. Just pick the cheapest, quietest, biggest, most centrally located balcony cabin, right?
Wrong. You can’t have them all at the same time. There are trade offs. A centrally located cabin will reduce how much walking and stair climbing you’ll do, but it won’t be the quietest. If you want the biggest cabin, it won’t be the cheapest. And so like the perfectly cooked steak, the perfect cabin is subjective and depends on your tastes. Among the factors to consider, the first and most important is price. How much are you willing to spend?
All other choices are based on price. If you want the least expensive cabin, then you’ll have fewer options to choose from and thus an easier time picking your cabin. If you’re willing to pay extra, then decide what’s important to you.
3 Factors of Cabin Quality:
1. Location
2. Ocean view
3. Size
Location
Thrusters are roaring monsters that infect everything around them with rage. That’s why location is the most important to me. On my second ship, the Carnival Triumph, my cabin was at the front on deck 1 directly above the thrusters with passenger cabins about 5 steps away on the same deck.
Every cruise ship has two sets of thrusters – one at the bow and one at the stern. They are fixed propellers that push water sideways and enable the ship to rotate and move side to side. They’re used when docking and when the ship pushes away from the pier and to keep the ship in one place when tendering in port.
I was asleep in the top bunk the morning of my first port on the Triumph. Then everything became violent as I was shaken awake earthquake style. The rumbling sound of a jack hammer rattled everything including the metal ceiling panels that were two feet from my face. With no window, the room was dark except for a sliver of light underneath the cabin door. Had I not experienced a milder version of thruster vibration on my first ship, I would have probably have freaked out thinking that the ship was coming apart.
Fortunately, most passenger cabins are peaceful enough because they aren’t that close. Thruster rage fades away dramatically with each successive deck and one deck higher or even a few steps away from the thrusters makes a huge difference.
If your cabin is on the lowest two decks at the front or back of the ship, then expect some thruster vibration. One advantage to staying in these cabins is
that the thrusters can act as an alarm clock. If you’re sleeping in, you’ll always know when the ship is arriving in port.
BUT – the thrusters also help navigate the meandering bends of rivers. I sailed from New Orleans for a year which meant a 7-hour ride on the Mississippi River before we reached the Gulf of Mexico. Not a big deal when you leave New Orleans at 4pm, but pretty annoying on the way back when the thrusters come on sporadically from 10pm until we docked around 4am in the morning.
If you sail out of New Orleans, stay away from the lowest decks at the front or back of the ship.
Engine noise and vibration is another factor to consider in picking your cabin. The engines are located about 3⁄4 of the way to the back of the ship and just like with the thrusters, a few steps in either direction or just one deck higher makes a huge difference in the amount of noise and vibration in your cabin. Just like with the thrusters, most passenger cabins have a minimal amount of engine noise and vibration, but realize that it exists.
My favorite location is deck 6 or 7 at the very front of the ship. I was only seasick in the roughest of seas so the extra rocking motion (from being on a higher deck) didn’t bother me. What I liked most was that there was zero vibration from the engines.
In the middle of a sea day, even though the engines were running at full blast, these cabins are completely free of engine rumble. Perfectly quiet. And even though I was above the thrusters, deck 6 or 7 is far enough that they aren’t too noticeable and I was willing to trade fifteen minutes of thruster rumble for the complete absence of engine noise the rest of the day.
A word on centrally located cabins: they aren’t as much of an advantage on smaller ships. But on the biggest ships it can take ten minutes to walk the length of the ship, to say nothing of waiting for an elevator.
So if you’re lounging at the back of the ship, and your cabin is at the front, it might be a twenty minute round trip walk just to stop by your cabin.
You have essentially two choices to make about your cabin location:
1. Vertical location: Low Deck or a High Deck?
2. Horizontal location: Front, Middle, or Back of the ship?
Low deck
– Pros: Cheaper. Less likely to be seasick.
– Cons: Further away from the pool deck and other amenities. More stair climbing or elevator waiting. If you choose to be at the front or back of the ship, then you will get some noise and vibration from the engines and/or thrusters. Instead of large windows, ocean view cabins may have only a small porthole.
High deck
– Pros: Closer to the amenities so you won’t climb as many stairs or spend as much time waiting for an elevator.
– Cons: More expensive. More likely to be seasick. Depending on where your cabin is, you may get some noise from the disco or pool deck.
Front of the Ship
– Pros: Zero engine vibration. Less foot traffic and thus less noise in front of your door. Some people enjoy the rocking motion from the seas. Some balconies are larger than midship cabins.
– Cons: More walking to the amenities at the back of the ship. Gets the most motion if the seas are rough and thus this is the most likely place on the ship to get seasick. Balcony cabins will be windier and get more ocean spray. Some windows are smaller and/or recessed and have a limited view. Thruster vibration.
Middle of the Ship
– Pros: Centrally located means less walking to amenities. Less likely to be seasick.
– Cons: Can be more expensive. More foot traffic and thus noise in front of your door. Depending on what deck you are on, you may get some noise from the disco or pool deck.
Back of the Ship
– Pros: Larger balconies. Better views because you can see behind the ship. Less foot traffic and thus less noise in front of your door.
– Cons: More walking to the amenities at the front of the ship. More motion (and likely to be seasick) than midship cabins but not as much as forward cabins. You may occasionally get some exhaust fumes blowing down on your balcony from the ship’s funnel. It doesn’t happen often and the winds usually shift after a few hours so isn’t a lasting problem.
Ocean view
Some people say, “Don’t pay extra for the balcony because you won’t spend much time in you cabin anyway.” Maybe. Maybe not.
For some this is true. For others, sitting on a private balcony away from noise and crowds as you enjoy the view and ocean sounds is well worth the price even if you only use it an hour a day.
I see more value in this as I get older (was born in ’74). I’m now more likely to seek solitude to recharge from the chaos of crowds, the stress from work, and even needing a dad break. Daughters are awesome. Parents need breaks.
If you go for the balcony, it will cost 25% to 100% more. But that doesn’t mean your cruise vacation will cost 25% to 100% more. Airline tickets, time off from work, drinks (I saw $1,000 bar tabs from a 4-day cruise), shore excursions, shopping, casino losses, and tips all factor in.
Kids generally don’t care. If you’re traveling with kids and plan to get them their own cabin, maybe put them in an inside cabin. Teenagers probably won’t appreciate the balcony the way an adult would (especially since they aren’t paying for it). If you have a balcony and they don’t, then they have a reason to visit and spend time with you.
Size
Cabins are at least 50% smaller than a typical hotel room. The bathrooms are tiny. And unless you pay extra, your bathroom (and cabin) won’t have much floor space or a bathtub.
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Lots of options, but don’t over think it. Unless you’re taking a voyage that lasts many months, you’re only in that cabin for a few days.
If you went cheap, and now wish you had splurged for the balcony, then focus on the money you saved. If you spent extra, try to make the most of what you paid for.
Either way you’ll know for next time. If it is your second time to cruise, maybe try something different.